Chez Louise AKA Neverneverland II - Tahaa
On Tahaa I cheap out and camp Chez Louise for $10/night. I do, after all, have a tent which I am still lugging around and, besides, Lonely Planet says that this is the best place for sunset views.
Louise does not want me to take a photo of her and frankly I understand. The only word to describe her is bulbous. Also, she has many large warts, including a big hairy one on her lip and an enormous one on her nose, which makes it difficult to sit and have a conversation with her without thinking about ogres or witches. She raised two kids of her own and then adopted and raised 15 more. About the time the last of those left home her father died and left her some money so she kicked her husband out, bought an ocean front property, started up a restaurant, and has never looked back.
The place is pretty ramshackle but she is an excellent cook. Across the lagoon on a private motu is a very exclusive 5 star resort. Bill Gates goes there. And each time he does he has lunch at her restaurant at least once. Lunch is $65 a head, plus drinks of course. You pay your money and you get what you get, always seafood, but no choice. According to Louise Bill writes about it on the internet on one of those secret sites that you can only access if you are a millionaire. Certainly, while I am sitting chatting with her on broken beach chairs with the incredible view in front of us, the resort calls and books two couples in for lunch the following day. Louise comments that most of her business comes from there and I applaud them for recommending her to their guests, but, no no, she replies, the resort doesn’t recommend her, in fact they almost cringe when their clients want to eat anywhere other than the resort, but the rich and famous do their own research and demand to get taken! Louise loves it.
The first day I arrived with a take-out meal in hand for my supper but the second day when she asks what I want her to cook me for supper, and the real answer is an apple and a tall glass of cold iced tea, which I highly doubt is on her menu, I’m not sure how to respond. I don’t know if, as a campsite guest, I am expected to eat in her restaurant. I am tired and have been in every-ready-bunny tourist mode all day; there are no busses and few cars on Tahaa so I have walked far too far in the hot sun as I hitchhike from destination to destination and I am feeling a bit of heat exhaustion. I ask to see a menu but none exist so I claim I am not hungry. This is partly true, I certainly don’t want a big meal, I also don’t want to put her to a lot of trouble just for me (there are no other supper guests tonight), and, as well, I am doing my best to be a frugal tourist, if such a thing exists, and have no idea what supper would cost or even how to ask tactfully. Polynesian hospitality, however, does not allow a guest, even a paying campsite resident, to go without a meal, so Louise clomps off, whips up some fantastic delicacy, invites the neighbours over, and insists that I join them in the kitchen to eat, as, it is made very clear, a guest guest, not a restaurant guest.
I have a friend who lives in Toronto and regularly travels to England. She talks of the B&B owners as ‘friends’ and frequently re-visits the same places. It is a concept that I, until now, found odd. Here in French Polynesia, however, I see the light. Usually I always like to go to new places, even, for example, when going to Cuba, yet again, I want to stay in a different resort in a different town, but, were I to come back here, which I’d love to do, I have been made to feel so very much at home everywhere I’ve been that I’d barely even contemplate not returning to the exact same spots.
Yup. It’s definitely all good! :)
