AKA Impostor AKA If my day isn't fun all I do is look in the mirror to know who to blame
I am the Art Teacher at ADHS (is there
some way to make sure that no one in Arnprior can access this?) which is,
still, a bit of a joke.
I did take an online "How to Teach
Art" course. I even had to do a
major demonstration project to go along with it in which I created a large original artwork, photographed all stages of the process, and wrote both a formal unit plan and a critical analysis. For this I opened the Curriculum Guidelines and found
on page one (grade one) 'make a paper-mache animal'. I thought I could probably
do that so chose it as my project. It was unexpectedly tricky. It took many many evenings to
complete. Emily, my roommate, and I almost peed ourselves laughing, more than once, at my pathetic attempts to get the limbs to stay in the right
orientation. I got a great mark though, I have to say. For two reasons.
First I am very good at writing unit plans so I had a great unit plan, and, in my analysis I went on at great length about how challenging this project had been, how long it had taken me, how I couldn't imagine a grade
one class actually doing it - but, that, given that there were paper-mache animals all
round my house that my own kids had made in grade one, I knew that teachers
really did do this with their classes. I was being dead serious but I think my prof thought I was
being clever, writing tongue in cheek or some such. Secondly, my prof pointed
out that many elementary teachers make the error of making demo projects that
are too perfect for kids to emulate whereas my paper-mache really looked like
something that someone in grade one could do! Go me! And this, this project,
somehow qualifies me to teach grade twelve art! Someone in the government ought
to look into that.
So, now, the joke's on me. I took the
course, did a grade one project, and am now teaching Art grade
nine, ten, eleven, and twelve!
When I was offered this job I did
point out to my principal exactly how good I was at art to which he replied,
"Oh my!" But he still took me on in this role.
So here I am, in this classroom, doing my best. On the advice of a retired art teacher I downloaded and
printed out the Ontario Curriculum Course Guidelines from the internet, and,
frankly, almost cried. They were SO full of jargon that I really literally had
no idea at all what they were trying to say. So instead of following them I do
the best I can. My modus operandi goes sort of like this: I go on pintrest and
find a project under any high school art site that looks both fun and
interesting and comes with clear instructions and good examples, I repackage
the information in kid-friendly language, make up a rubric, and present it to
my classes. I give them a relevant chapter out of their textbooks to read so
that they are getting a bit of theory, this takes about a day, and then I make
up some introductory exercises to go along with the project I have chosen, this
takes another three or four days, and then they start the project, which
usually takes a week or longer. (Who knew art took so long to do?) During this
time I wander the class offering my lowly opinion on how they are doing -
mostly compliments with just a few constructive criticism questions thrown in
(That looks like a busy background to me. What do you think? Do you think
it might be more effective if you used your artist's discretion to simplify it so that the main subject gets more emphasis? I'm just
asking, you are the artist. What do you think?) I throw in a bit of the
Creative Process and the Critical Analysis Process and off we go. If I have
chosen an appropriate project the kids a) enjoy it b) work hard at it c) stay
on task and d) produce great results so I have little to do. Then, after ten
days or so they hand in their work, I mark it, hand it back, and the process
starts all over! I think if I knew more it would be a harder job, but, seeing
as I don't know more, it is, at least for now, easy peasy.
Part of me worries that eventually I
will be 'found out' but, well, I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it. So, for now, I have time on my hands to write silly little blog entries
like this and wonder if I have the gaul to include photos of the amazing art my
students are producing. (I'd love to, but no...)
I hope everyone else who is working has
a job that is as much fun!
