‘Anywhere but here’ was the title of a photo of an airport
queue that appeared in today’s Globe and Mail.
‘Anywhere but here’ was also how I felt this morning.
‘What do you gain by going away?” Rick, one of my
Saturday morning coffee buddies asked a couple of weeks ago. ‘What is wrong
with here?’ I didn’t have an answer to his question two weeks ago, and, despite
chewing over it, even searching for some sort of ‘cottage effect’ syndrome on
the internet to research, I am no closer to an answer. But for me, away is just
better.
Today was not only the first day of March Break but the
first real day of spring in Deep River. The sky was blue, the air warm, and the
snow a blinding, brilliant, beautiful white. Kids were out walking without
jackets on, teens were jogging in their shorts, and the birds were, at least
metaphorically, singing in the trees. It was a lovely lovely day. Everyone was
making excuses to get out and about and all of them were smiling. The roads
were dry, any patches of what had been ice were soft, and that clean clear
smell of sublimating snow permeated the air giving a certainty to the knowledge
that the back of winter had been broken and spring was truly going to come. It was
LOVELY. It would have been a perfect day to go for a long walk, or a snowshoe,
or the last cross country ski of the season, or even a fun spring downhill ski.
But all I could think of was getting away. Shelley called to ask if I wanted to
go walking and Karen to ask if I wanted to go skiing and Diane sent out an e-mail
to our cross country group updating us on possible weekend outings, so it is
not even as if I would have been alone.
But the call to leave was, despite the wonderful weather,
too strong to resist. At 10 am instead of going out for coffee I went online
and booked a cheap deal down south. By noon I had packed up my swim suit and
sunblock, been to the school to print out my tickets, and was waiting at the
side of the highway for the bus to come by.
I am hoping for a small sailboat to muck about in for hours on
end and good snorkeling on the side but will be happy with a beach to walk.
Away, away, away… I don’t know why I didn’t feel I would be
happy in Deep River for the week, I tried to convince myself that four months
away last fall had soothed the itchiness of my feet, but, for whatever twisted
reason, I just wanted to get away, and, as soon as I had clicked the ‘buy now’
button, I could immediately feel the stress start to ebb out of me, the
relaxing freedom of being away start to seep easily into its place, and a
feeling of calm start to permeate my whole being.
Away. Even here, at the airport, I am happy. Even on my own,
without a companion, I am happy. Away. Yes.
(But, I hear a silent whisper, why?)
